Warrior’s Machete

Always great to be back with you. Hoarded up here at the Warrior Ranch in my tiny 6,000 sq. ft. basement studying Canada’s Parliamentary rules, watching Kung Fu movies and Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Falwell sermons in preparation for my upcoming mental combat with a Canadian, born-again Christian, MMA fighter (so he claims; see comments at “No Sweat. Iron Sheik’s Ass Kicked by Warrior’s Mind.” post if you don’t understand). Don’t worry, warriors, think positively. I’ve no doubts about overcoming this overall challenge. After all, it is certain he’s not doing any serious training, he’s always here at the blog. Soon, I’m going to start charging him rent. Frankly, I already OWN him. His psyche is mine. I do, though, have minor concerns about his demand to square off in “private.” Seems he may possibly be a disciple under the tutelage of that pervert Ted Haggard. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, watch your behind back when you are in the comment area. Warrior’s Machete refuses to be held legally responsible for sexual harassment of any kind.

After many months of outrageous delay the functionality of the site is starting to come together. Recently, I (finally!) received some competent and knowledgeable advice about how to more effectively achieve my web presence goals. The Warrior Web website will keep its digital existence but to simplify navigation and organization all updating and interaction from here on out will be happening first through Warrior’s Machete. An alternating combination of writing, audio and video will be produced and posted. The 10 years worth of archived written commentaries from Warrior Web are coming back online over the next few weeks.

I receive hundreds of email everyday. Three to five dozen of these are from those of you who are newly finding out about Warrior Web although the site has been around almost 11 years now. Until you have a chance to get into the archive of commentaries written during the course of those years — a conservative estimate would be 500-750 pages (actual printed page quantity) — it may be a little challenging to put “who I am” and “what I am all about,” today, in its proper perspective. Until those writings are uploaded, here’s a great overview you can check out to get a general idea.

Now, some clothesline-leveling response to comments of “No Sweat. Iron Sheik’s Ass Kicked by Warrior’s Mind.” which only thy Godly Warrior can provide….

First, the boringly redundant claim regurgitated over and over that others are not paying attention to, or could care less about, the memory of Ultimate Warrior, what I am doing today in my life and what has transpired between the McMahons and I. The facts prove otherwise.

More than 10 years removed from the business, no other talent is more talked about than the Ultimate Warrior. No wrestling talk show can go without someone immediately bringing up Ultimate Warrior. I still today receive dozens of emails every day from these kinds of programs repetitively asking if I will participate in their program; when I do not respond, they never cease coming back to ask time and time again. I also get dozens of solicitations each day to appear at some type of wrestling forum.

The Self Destruction DVD, as a DVD project on an individual talent, was second ONLY to the Undertaker’s; and I have recently heard that its (UW) total sales have now surpassed even his. Even if, as you critics will sillily claim, people purchased the DVD because they enviously took sick comfort in the defamatory portrayal, your assertion that there is “no audience” interested in “anything” to do with me falls flat on its face. Positive or negative, the attraction and interest is still there.

Forget the ’90s for a moment, let’s use the recent NJ event to further refute your ridiculous claims of no attention or interest. Wrestling sites won’t report it, and I was not going to mention it myself (after all, my ego is well nourished already), but since your intentions are to dishonestly misinform the public let me, humbly, bring it to your attention now. The line at the event to see me started to form 2 hours before I arrived there at 10:30 and was solidly active clear through till 2:30-3:00, whereas Hogan rudely got there a half hour late to allow his line to build up and he disappeared 45 minutes earlier than his scheduled departure because there was no line at all. So much for the cockiness of one Nicholas Cordova, Hogan’s handler, who spouted off in a condescending email to Bernie a couple of days before the show, “the only reason people are coming to the show is to see Hogan. Good luck working with Warrior or trying to make your show a success.” Differently, it seems that everyone has had quite enough of Hogan and they are no longer interested in him anymore. (Father of the Year Award? You have to be kidding me!! Pimp, yes. Father, no.)

In addition, the video at youtube of the incident at my appearance, just a few days after being posted, already had over 200,000 views.

The most damaging evidence against your false assertions is what you idiots do yourselves. You never stop or go away! Every single one of you who make these foolish, false claims spends more time than everyone else altogether giving attention and paying interest to the very thing you claim deserves none!

Let’s be honest here, psychos. Your own wife has to open your wallet to see the name on your driver’s license just before bedtime to make sure she doesn’t call you by the wrong name when she fakes her orgasm.

Staying power is staying power, wannabes, and Ultimate Warrior, as an interest, has it.

Concerning all your smart-mark (silly, sad, sorry and sickminded fanboy) theories about an Ultimate Warrior return to the WWE and any potential therein, and considering the imperious manner in which you put these theories forward, I’d say you’re sorely lacking in creativity but that I have nothing on you when it comes to arrogance. (Too bad you’re also lacking the guts, talent or knowledge. Although, who knows, today’s superstar standards have been lowered drastically.) You say “this” and “that” like you know something, when the truth is you know nothing, maybe even less. An Ultimate Warrior return, done right, could still be a huge success and money maker. That is, if the guy who created, performs and owns Him WANTED to do that. Believe me, I know him personally — he doesn’t.

Those of you with diminished brain function please try to get this straight one more time: I’m NOT in the business by my OWN choice, not someone else’s. Every single time I left the WWF, it was not I who called McMahon to return, it was McMahon who called me. I stood up to the industry operators on principle, and I’m not in the business today because I am still standing up on principled reasons.

This talk about “burning bridges” is utter nonsense. In the first place, in the swamps of the wrestling industry the bottom-feeders never reach accesses to bridges; that’s why none of them ever really leave and instead hang out scouring for any piece of waste product floating by that they can cling to. And in the case of those who rise above scavenging in the sewerlike muck, like yours truly, the bridge is, by choice, blown up. Once across the bridge, who and what lie on the opposite side ceased to motivate me as I moved on to pursue other successes in my life. So please, enough of your pseudo-insider’s knowledge. Stick with what you know how to do well: Be a lazy couch slob working the remote, order PPV’s and pizza, lounge for long periods of time smelling your own gas, pleasure your tiny self to diva fantasies, and have no life otherwise.

Recent assertions at Warrior’s Machete of hypocrisy, racism, and homophobia are bull. They don’t stand-up when set next to the facts and the full context of what I’ve long ago already put on the record. Of course, this won’t deter you kooks who find the truth, my success at life and my unflappable confidence aggravating.

Too many of you took too much unnecessary offense to my use of the word “faggot.” If you’re going to get offended, at least give me the chance to do it properly. I promise, you won’t have to wait long. I’m a “sarcastic” equal opportunity offender. As I’ve made it clear time and time again over the years in my commentaries, and including in a podcast (relisted here in this post), I am a wickedly, sarcastic SOB. Dead or alive, I am the one bold enough to speak the joke about your life you don’t want others to tell. Like instances where former talent I’ve worked with, even the Canadian ones, have committed silly, stupid, suicidal deaths. Come on, you got to love the tragic humor in that kind of base, debauched, unmanly end to a big, strong and robust superstar’s life, don’t you? No? See, I told you. I am a wickedly sarcastic SOB.

My use of the word faggot fit the context of the story I was telling about the classic one-liner Hawk blurted out in the middle of a brouhaha while one night in the boondocks of Canada when we were taunted by some drunks boasting how “macho” they were compared to us “fake pro-wrestlers.” You’ve never called another punk male a “faggot”? Are you that emasculated by political-correctness that you can’t see — or don’t approve of — the sarcasm? Really?! Well, hell, then, you might just be a faggot — in the actual sense I meant it. I did not mean “faggot” in the sexual, penis-puffing sense you took it. I meant it in the feminizing, sissy-boy sense that many real males will sarcastically use when taking verbal jabs at one another.

Did I say ALL? No, I didn’t. So why is it ALL of you got your panties in an immediate wad? Reminds me of the time when I owned a gym and one morning I put a flyer on the front counter saying, very matter-of-factly, that 99% of all personal trainers are bullshit and not worth the time or money their clients give them. After many months of watching the 30 or so personal trainers we had registered at the gym incompetently advise and train their clients I easily came to this conclusion for the simple fact that it was true. Well, you should have seen the ballistic uproar of all of them, except one guy — the one guy, mind you, that fell in the 1% that WAS competent and worth the time and money. He never even mentioned the flyer. Not once. He didn’t because he was self-confident enough to know that he was not one of the 99% I was talking about. The rest? Well, they knew they their service was worthless, and they flipped out because someone called them out and exposed them for the crooks and frauds they were. In this post, I did not say ALL are faggots, I said mostly. Perhaps, likewise as the revelation unveiled by the personal trainer incident, some of you who took extreme offense should check your sexual persuasion to make sure you are, well, you know, confident you ARE NOT what you took such unneccessary offense at (mis)believing you were called.

That straightened out, perhaps I can now properly offend you. Let me give it my best warrior shot. You see, I really do have to take umbrage to the distinct way most of you made the extra pious effort to blow up my innocuous use of the word into an unnecessary larger context that I WAS calling the country Canada a faggot. You see, we just had the Memorial holiday here and I am, after all, a really big American Patriot, so I can’t just keep my mouth shut about what you have done. I think that’s a good thing that I can’t. You’ll have to decide for yourself, of course.

Most of you — NOT all — furiously responded defending your country as if I was insinuating ALL of Canada, as a country, were “faggots,” instead of some “individuals.” This was never in my mind at the time I used the word. But now that you bring it up in the way you have — in the aggressive, finger-poking-in-the-chest, challenging manner in which you have — I have to admit that I perhaps I should have let my opinion of your country influence my thoughts a little more. It surely will now as I write this response to you.

For sure, there are some great people in Canada. Hell, there are some great people in all corners of the world. That’s part of the problem when you use group labels any time you mean only to criticize some members of the group. You inadvertently include all those you didn’t intend to. I did not intend to disparage every Canadian. After all, on April 1, 1990, the 70,000 WMVI fans could not possibly ALL be faggots. Hogan fans maybe. Warrior fans, no way. But when you come back at me like you have, after my post, beating your puny chests and whining that Canada is the best country in the World, when I have only said there are mostly faggots in the boondocks, you leave me no choice but to tell you that Canada is NOT the best country. Hell, it’s not even a great country. Some of you have evidently been chewing on too much moose jerky or something. And comparing Canada to America, in any way, is a stretch, I frankly think, only sissy-boys would try to make. The United States of America is the leader of the Free World — and it will always be. America is the standard setter for all great and inspiring things Worldwide. Our problem is not, as America haters ( Canadians included) will insist, that we pound our chest too much. Our problem is that our own leaders don’t do it enough.

I somewhat commend your loyalty to your faulty position that you believe Canada is the best — after all, you are Canadians — but, still the same, it must be hard keeping a straight face when you say it.

Since the war on terror has unfolded, your country has revealed itself as a willing accomplice to the expansion of terrorism. Canada is a country saturated with pacifists. It is filled with unmanly, effeminate, unmasculine, cream puffs for leaders — tiny-testicled Lord Faunterloys to be precise. They support way too tolerant, across-the-board “don’t ask- don’t tell” policies when it comes to practically every single social issue, even though the country is financially and morally bankrupt. Your country is a safe haven for any thug or murderer simply if they show up at your borders and claim human rights violations; even though these criminals with whom you sympathize simply fabricate violations perpetrated on them and your government never checks to find out what actual ones they’ve perpetrated on innocent human beings somewhere else in the world.

In addition, your country is not for freedom, it is socialist, through and through. And any country who espouses these kind of anti-independent, egalitarian views at the sake of trouncing individual freedoms and self-responsibility has got to, in some way, place or other, be populated, I frankly think, with many faggots (again, in the sense I am using it). Of course, if you are determined to contextually twist I how mean “faggot,” as you’ve already shown you are capable, there’s nothing I can do about that. I still have to say it. And as I have constantly shown what I, too, am capable, this American can live with whatever your reaction is to this truth I must tell. Perhaps those of you who wrote and angrily took me to task about using the word would have been better off taking my “faggot” comment for the sarcasm it initially, truly, was. Instead it seems you may have opened a Pandora’s Box of troubles that not even our common historical affections for WMVI can soothe. C’est la vie…

About cuss words and adult language and the ridiculous comparison being made that I’ve used them in the same way as Sheik and therefore I am a hypocrite because I criticized him. Worthless, ignorant try, Warrior haters. To begin with, I’m already on the record making the case, in a commentary at Warrior Web a long time ago, that there are instances where graphic adult language — “cuss words” — are appropriate modifiers (especially for males) and just the effective trigger to set off full-blown, adrenalized masculine engagement.

Furthermore, in the words of my good, manly buddy, Tim, there is a “stark contrast” between how Sheik used them and I did. Trying to make the two the same is like trying to make pornography the same as a consensual, loving, physical relationship between a married man and woman. Of course, it’s NOT hard for any of you critics to do this in your minds because you ARE the patrons and perverts of today’s degenerate, morally-relative culture. Truth is, it’s not even that you believe that what I’ve done is “wrong.” No. Your motive is simply to make what Sheik did “right.” Your agenda is the same as your politically-correct, morally relative brethren — open the floodgates to hell on earth and tolerate any vile, vulgar, despicable and evil act as if it is the same as any decent, proper, and good behavior.

It’s hilarious. The mocking you’ve done of yourselves could not be any better if I’d directed you myself. In all your reviews of what I said, you censor the words pussy and faggot — p***y and f****t — while you, at the same time, patronize the industry and its own habitual vocabulary and post flickering banners on your sites linked to naked pictures of divas. Please, tell all of us who want more laughs, where is the school you attend to learn how to become this desperate, stupid and pathetic?

Same thing with the asinine charges that I am a racist or homophobic. I am neither.

What you’ve all done is try to twist my principled, uncompromising “prejudice” into your own intolerant and sickminded definition of diversity. You are the racists, the bigots. Not I. Shame on you. Since you’ve tried to turn the tables on the two concepts, now would be a good time for me to enlighten you and others on what the difference is. It’s very simple. I expect you to pay attention — and I know you will.

Prejudice is having the moral confidence and discernment to choose objectively between alternatives, especially as it relates to the human behavior, views, and beliefs one will or will not tolerate. I’m not racist against any race or ethnicity, race, or color of skin (although the radical towelheads, sheet wearers, and airport security personnel are thoroughly testing my good manners and patience). But if you are white, black, purple, yellow, red, or even tie-dyed, and you choose to be stupid, ignorant, behave irresponsibly, or are unmannered, degenerate or irreverent toward traditional things that make human life work, then I hold prejudice for you.

Prejudice is not racism. Prejudice is not bigotry. I am exercising my prejudice, not racism or bigotry, when I tell you I don’t owe one single human being on this planet special, unobjective, nonjudgmental consideration — even if they have segregated themselves into a group screaming some sort of discrimination or victimization. Take black people, for example. I don’t owe one single black person special, unobjective, nonjudgmental consideration just because they are black or their ancestors were slaves. Slavery was an heinous injustice, but I wasn’t a slaveowner. I don’t know if any of my ancestors were, but even if they were, they are not me and I carry none of their responsibility to apologize or make amends for any evils they or anyone else committed. Any idea of doing so is patently absurd.

Same thing with queers. It doesn’t make me a homophobe because I find homosexuality abnormal (queer). It IS abnormal and I have the freedom to make my OWN moral choice that I believe it is, just as a queer has the freedom to make his OWN immoral choice to be ONE if he wants. I don’t want a queer to lose their freedom to choose, but neither do I want MY right to judge it as I SEE IT taken away. I am not a homophobe. I have no fear of any queer. The unvarnished truth, which I’ve found out many times firsthand, is that queers are “heterophobes,” pure and simple. They fear, even hate, heterosexuals.

It amazes me that whenever I say something critical about hypocrite born-again Christians none of you christians simply agree the criticism is justified and due, and just leave it at that. No, what you do is you sidestep judgement and condemnation of the hypocrite and you go right into a sermon proselytizing for Christianity. The Word of God is not just filled with stories of peace, non-judgment, love, forgiveness and taking the easy way out. There are also plenty of stories of war, harsh judgment, hate, serious consequences, and brutal suffering. You brag about how much you believe and how devoted you are to ALL of God’s word, but when it comes to time to step up and perform the more challenging and less comfortable requisites to live God’s word in its full, absolute sense, you cower behind the easy, ambivalent, non-confrontational way out. This is repulsive — and you people who do this are nothing less than liars and hypocrites yourselves. Your believe in God is piecemeal — and that’s not the way it works. Shawn Micheals, Steve Borden, Dibiase and other former talent who claim to be born-again christians are nothing more than charlatans and, to go by the Word you born-agains claim you believe, hypocrites of the vilest, evil kind. Any Christian who claims to believe the Word of Jesus Christ and hold any respect for the suffering and sacrifice He made, and, yet, cannot find the courage, decency, self-discipline and self-restraint to forgo participation in tawdry, immoral activities that are destructive to the beliefs he claims to believe, is a hypocrite, flat-out. And any born-again Christian that tries to rationalize their deceit is guilty just the same. You are simply a fraud and a fool if you think otherwise.

Lesson over for today…

Your Founding Father of Ring Intensity,
Always Believe,
Warrior

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 at 4:06 pm and is filed under Warrior Bio Truths. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.