Apparently, without even trying, I keep shocking everybody.
I didn’t know living to be 50 was such a big deal — or something to be despised or ridiculed. Of course, not many former WWF, or even today’s WWE, wrestlers hang around alive long enough to celebrate their 50th birthday.
I always thought, though, that the mindless misfits and useful idiots charged with commentating on the industry could at least have started and continued that whole posthumous birthday homage media and entertainment pay to all their dead criminal heroes and OD’ed drug addicts. You know, like when they say, “Che Guevara would be 125 today if he wasn’t a thug and murderer who deserved to be executed…long live the revolution!” or, “If Elvis had never left the building and choked to death on his own puke while passed out on his toilet, ladies and gentlemen, he’d be 93 today.” I guess this kind of thing doesn’t go over too well for dead wrestlers though when the Memorial Wrestlefest held in their name craps out after the first year. Still, just a thought.
I really don’t know what my problem is. I guess it’s just that I really enjoy being alive. All of us have our little idiosyncrasies, you know. One of mine is getting myself out of bed each morning instead of putting the coroner through the hassle. Even with all the support, guidance, insight and marketing that’s been done, I just haven’t been able to pull this self-destruction thing off, get it to work right like all the others have.
This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO1Yn2V8TCw) came close to pushing me into that absolute zero zone you need to enter to get the job done right. But by its end my urge was gone and a peacefulness came over me like I never felt before. Serious…even if the Dalai Lama had walked into the room his presence could not have deepened the tranquility I was experiencing at the moment. This excellently produced piece of footage made me feel so good to be alive — and living with my head in the present, not up my ass.
Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. I don’t know. And sad as all my failure at this is, to make matters even worse, I just can’t find it in myself to even apologize. I simply have no remorse. I’m so not sorry for letting so many down. The only thing I have to offer, I suppose, is that I will keep on living. I know, it’s shameful.
Alright, let’s shelve the sarcasm.
For you self-thinkers, who make the effort and do the work yourselves to find out the truths about me and all other things that truly make your lives work, next week I’ve got another Warrior’s Journal coming on line and also a substantive, meaningful post about what’s going through my mind here as I look back at the now gone 18,534 days of my life. In the Warrior’s Journal I will be profiling Marcus Aurelius’s classic, “Meditations.” I believe you’ll enjoy it.
Your Founding Father of Ring Intensity and Life Motivation,