A Man Does It ALL.
In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first.
— Harry S Truman
Hello, fellow warriors –
Digging around here in files buried in my computer’s basement. Rediscovering posts from the past. Vintage stuff that disappeared each time there was a redesign of the site. Must be 500 to 1,000 printed pages worth. Preparing to put most of it back online here at the blog.
I opened a classic, interesting file and it caused me to remember an email that got my attention. Now it’s time for me to have yours.
A guy asks:
“Warrior, I have two young kids around the same age as yours. Do you think that it is a normal development in a man’s life to have to give up so much of ourselves to give our kids the best lives possible that our own lives begin to fall into a rut from neglect of our own needs? Is the true measure of a man what he still does for himself or what he sacrifices for others?”
I really hate to see men conflicted about these things. It’s just not natural. A man should not be confused or wonder oddly about the most basic things that make for strong peace of mind and a stable life. A man is not supposed to be struggling with doubts and uncertainties inside himself.
If males paid more attention to their natural masculine instincts and thinking for themselves rather than today’s emasculated cultural role models and their sissified opinions and examples, they’d be able to settle their inner conflicts on their own. Like a man should be able.
It may be normal by today’s standards to entertain these kinds of ideas put forward in this inquiry, but it’s certainly NOT by traditional ones. Traditional standards are what I use and my life keeps turning out to be pretty damn solid and enjoyable, which gives me and my family a beautiful peace of mind. The simple, blunt, bold and no bs attitude of these is all I have to offer. If you want advice fit for today’s low standards, and evidence of its failures, follow Hulk Hogan on Twitter.
No, of course not, not for one damn second, in any whatsoever, is it normal for a father to think anything he does for his children is somehow a bothersome sacrifice or giving something up of himself or good enough reason to neglect his own needs and put himself and his life in a rut.
For a father to view the challenging choices he has before him as burdens instead of blessings, is to be devoted half-ass to performing his responsibilities as a provider.
And to believe you have to in some way compromise your duties as a man and father so that you can fulfill your own dreams and desires is weakness, pure and simple. Letting yourself go all to hell and your dreams rot is failure, pure and simple.
A father does it ALL — and he never once whines or complains about being blessed with the privilege and honor to do so. He doesn’t try to find a way out or around. He wakes each day and simply handles whatever it is that is going on in his life.
He meets the needs of his reality AND his dreams.
He gives up nothing — of his beliefs and aspirations (his DESTINY!) or of the day-to-day demands of providing the needs and security his family depends on him for.
He does not surrender squat when it comes to what truly matters. Working on his Destiny matters every bit as much as putting food on the table and clothes on his kids.
He doesn’t entertain any thought that it is impossible.
There are many true measures of a man.
One sure one is that a man gives all of himself to doing ALL of whatever he has before him in his life to do and he does it without sitting in his OWN pile of shit, pouting and asking himself, “Why me?”, or without trying to place the burden of doing it or blame for not getting it done on someone else, especially never his family.
Quit trying to find a way to escape or give yourself a break. Don’t be a V-man. Shut down the pansy-ass inner dialogue and suck it up and take full responsibility for the life you have created for yourself.
Listen to me. If you believe the only way you can ever go after your dreams is somehow escape the life you have now, that you created by your own damn choices, you are only setting yourself up for deeper resentment and regret. If you believe the only way to get the job done will be when there is no more day-to-day shit to shovel in your life, then you will be shoveling shit till the day you die.
One more thing. A father does not provide the best possible life for his kids by doing things in his life he finds no inspiration or enjoyment in just so he can make money to buy his kids things, whether they be toys, fashionable clothes, popular tech gadgetry, the biggest house on the block, etc.
One day — not long after the day you buy it — they will forget every single material thing you, whether for basic comfort or luxury, provided for them. But they will never forget the example you set and the energy and attitude that comes off of you.
Kids have powerful instincts. You don’t have to say anything about how you feel like your life is in a rut or that you regret giving up on your dreams or that you wish your life circumstances were different. Without one word, they will be able to read you like a book and they will know.
If you are really concerned about providing your kids the best possible life, set an example for them that they will use to positively and inspirationally guide themselves throughout the whole of their lives.
Scrap your sacrificial, selfless, superficial and conventional ideas. Find the energy, stamina, self-confidence, self-belief, and courage to leave behind the things that have you ruining yourself and get out there and fulfill the unique greatness inside of you.
Your Founding Father of Life Intensity,