There's no place like home...
I recently had a sublimely happy moment. I have had those since Warrior died but rarely and they were always in relation to somebody else. These moments have involved either the girls or a friend or even meeting one of you but they have never been by myself. This must mark some kind of milestone as I accept the new normal.
Fall in New Mexico is my favorite season. Our skies are gorgeous on their own but add the trees turning golden, amber, and crimson and the soft breeze that makes the leaves sing melody for the birds it's just a time that feels as close to perfect as it gets. It was Saturday and I brought Indy home from ballet, after stopping to get she Mattie ice-cream cones. Indy was bubbling over with light, joyful babbles reserved for girls on the brink of fifteen. I interrupted her for a second, smiled at her and said "home is such a good place.". With her soft grin, she agreed. I grabbed my book, sat myself down on our little basketball court in the sun and thought of how Warrior had gotten on the ladder at 4:45 one cold Easter morning to replace the backboard and hoop so excited were we to play two on two with our bunnies later that day. His big hands dribbling the pink basketball I'd delightedly found. Later he would hide a field full of eggs and once those were found would find himself with the girls in this same spot, all three sprawled on their stomachs with sidewalk chalk drawing me enormous flowers as a surprise. That was a Spring in our lives and it blooms vividly in my heart. Sitting under the blue umbrella of sky on this perfect Fall day I warmed myself with my memories of a different season of my life that will never be taken...even if he has been.
We take for granted what is good in our lives. We curse the snow in the winter, the humidity of the summer. We do. It is just human nature. We should try to rise above human nature though and elevate ourselves to a place of gratitude for what we are blessed to have in every season of our lives. These seasons will pass in our life as well as our death... It would be good to know we leave behind memories that soothe the spirits of our love ones even once we are no longer here.
How often do you actually pause to say aloud, "this is a sublimely happy moment"? Try to remember to do that this Fall day, in your OWN life in your OWN quiet moment and space. If you will build it and believe it no matter where you reside you will be able to say....there's no place like home.
AB xo Dana