Warriors remember to stay humble and kind...
There's a Tim McGraw song out right now that I love. It reminds me of all the small ways to enjoy life and be genuinely happy. Anytime it comes on the radio I remember to think of the things I'm truly grateful to have in my life and of a secret I've discovered to being content in this lifetime. People often ask me how I stay so positive and I recently told a friend I do not want what I know I cannot have. This in no way goes against my husband's Always Believe creed, it is not a surrender of a dream or a lack of willingness to work...it is none of those things. It is instead a soul surrender to a bigger plan in life that I do believe for every morning I open my eyes. I choose daily to be happy. I chose recently that my season of grieving had come to an end. This will never mean the loss of my beloved husband will not be painful, it always will be, but I can never have him back the way I once had him so to be happy again I needed to stop wanting that. That life is lost to me but the one I've found is full of wonder and possibility. The one I'm living includes the two living and breathing warrior daughters he gave me and to minimize that in any way would be to lessen gift we shared and I will never disrespect his memory that way.
If you've lost something you cannot have back stop wanting it. I'm serious. We feed and fuel our longing sometimes to obsession and what we should do is discipline ourselves to want something new. I have done that with building Warrior's legacy and my business ventures along with reaching out to help others through writing. I asked myself what I still loved passionately in this world and forced myself DAILY to show up for those passions. I brushed my hair, winged my eyeliner, and dabbed on lip gloss on even the hardest days. I went to the gym and trained like hell to feel alive. I never feared I'd stop loving him or missing him by choosing life because I was not permitted to follow him into death. I chose the light because letting that light in was letting Warrior in daily. He does not live in the darkness... he lives in the light.
This past year I've developed ideas and presented them recently to WWE. They are helping me develop them further and when we do I know I can count on you warriors to be on board. I started dreaming new dreams for myself at my age and I feel so young again. Dreams and goals are what breathe life into us. Don't get so weighed down in whatever did not go the way you expected you sleep a dreamless sleep. That is a life wasted. That is a scared and lazy life. That is not the life a warrior seeks. There was a time I thought I would never rediscover passion and determination and moxie and fight but I underestimated my warrior woman spirit and on the precipice of two years since Warrior left this planet I am discovering petitions of my heart only held in private coming to pass. My life is beautiful. My life is great. My life is a gift...and so is yours. Today is the day to demand of yourself you appreciate it!
The lyrics of Tim McGraw's song play in my mind as I type. I see on the horizons goals I set for myself coming into focus. The gratitude I feel in my heart for that possibility is unquantifiable. Who could have told me I'd feel like a bird on the edge of a spring nest with the confidence to make a maiden voyage into that blue sky two years ago? Nobody. I wish I'd had someone I believed in to tell me that and give me hope but I truly did not. I hope I can be that to even one of you if you doubt life can be great again. I want to assure you it can be. It will be. It's all in YOUR power. It's all in your hope. It's all in your willingness to believe.
The line in McGraw's song that gets me and simultaneously makes me smile and puts a lump in my throat is:
"When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but always stay humble and kind."...
I see new adventures for me out at sea with business and ambition and creativity. I have never taken a day I did not work since I lost Warrior to create a life the girls could be proud to live. I am finally seeing the culmination of my passion, stubbornness, creativity and belief come into focus. I will never forget those who walked next to me and held my hand. I will never forget those who cheered me on, pushed me forward, picked me up, dusted me off and sometimes kicked me in the ass. I stopped wanting what I could not have and raised my eyes to what I can have with a lens of appreciation. When I looked at all I am blessed to possess in the love of my daughters, friends, and you warriors I recognize I couldn't have known what to want to make me happy until I had this life and appreciated it for all that it is instead of whining over what it is not.
I believe warriors dream big dreams for themselves and then, when they must, dream another big dream and keep dreaming... I believe warriors fight like hell to be happy in this life and endeavor to remain humble and kind...ALWAYS! xo Dana