Warriors know they can never turn Heel..
Here's a secret I'm going to share with you Warriors out there. Keep this secret...it's my... Ahhhh, I don't know...
I've always been a really good girl. I think my husband sort of loved that about me. I think through his rough and tumble life he'd seen a lot and I had not.. I was no more than a kid when we met and the wildest thing I'd done was spring break in Mazatlan. He would look at me with very knowing eyes sometimes and laugh...
I mean really laugh and say, "I've never met anyone like you in my life.". He always called me pure with a certain measure of delight. You might imagine he'd want to corrupt me...
...no really, he wanted to preserve me...he wanted to protect me and you know what?
We lived in a bit of a bubble... we raised our girls in that bubble...I think it helped us to raise such sweet and delightful young women in that bubble....
But when that bubble burst I was left in a world that was all at once suffocating and expansive... I had to think who it was I wanted to be going forward and I'll tell you something....
THE HEELS do look like they are having the MOST fun!!
I mean look at these heels out here in Dallas performing so amazingly at WRESTLEMANIA 32!!! I think for a minute I wanted to be one of them! I actually thought to myself at the lowest point after losing My Ultimate Good Guy...I'm going to be bad. Just be a BAD GIRL!!!
Ya!!!!...there was the next phase of my life I would just turn heel and be bad.
I was sort of talking this talk to my friend Ricky about this plan making a case that I was owed this turn in life...I'd lived so honorably and made all the choices you were meant to to have life go my way and yet life sucker punched me....It wasn't fair, dammit, so I was gonna show life what for and...
I WAS GONNA BE BAD!!
My friend looked at me, laughed, and said, "ya...but you aren't bad.". He said, "nothing about you says bad girl. EVERYTHING about you says... I'm good."
And oddly this made me mad. Like really mad. He's a guy...what would he know, right? So I asked a girlfriend thinking surely she would recognize my inner bad girl and yet she said a hasty "nope"...and actually laughed.
So try as I might I couldn't turn.
I was legit in my truck crying like a bad country song this past December when it hit me like a bolt from heaven (yes he speaks to me still!!!)...
WARRIORS are NOT BAD... They are BAD ASS!!!...
...and I'm a bad ass Warrior Girl.. not a bad girl.
With this understanding I threw my desire to turn heel away. We have enough bad guys and they do an impeccable job at what they do. And all these WWE bad guys and all YOU Warriors make it possible for me to be a warrior girl. All these bad guys have been my protectors and looked after my daughters and loved us. All of these strong men and tough women have held a hand out and never let go. Every time I hear Sheamus called the Celtic Warrior I cheer.., because I will never forget the fact he stopped me in the parking garage after Summerslam in Brooklyn and with his Irish brogue told me the words I'd written in the book we did for Warrior had gotten him (hit chest) here and with tears in his eyes said "good stuff, good stuff.". I will never forget that...EVER!...And I will tell you..,
I have impeccable taste, Sheamus...
..and I never think you look stupid.
This Warrior and WWE family carries on my husband in the people who fight and the words they speak. Before we could "Believe That" with Roman Reigns my husband taught us to "Always Believe". He would have been proud of all the amazing talent and what is happening in NXT. He would have been pleased I recognized I couldn't turn heel since being a Warrior is my namesake and it is what allows me to be here, with all of you, and and have the honor of presenting the award I did Saturday, named for one so impeccable he will
ALWAYS be remembered as THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!
Maybe in my next life I'll play a heel but for now I'll bleed Warrior blood the way my husband did... and I will put a bubble around his legacy so his Warrior Girls will grow into the Warrior Women he would have expected.
Thank you Warriors for all the support you gave me this beautiful weekend. My heart is so full of love for you. You are the reason I put those sparkly shoes on my feet Saturday. I cannot fill his boots but I can walk in his shoes so that his legacy and the running he did will indeed live....FOREVER!!
I believe in the lessons he taught me and the messages he sends me...I believe I am destined to be a Warrior Woman and recognize the Warriors around me...ALWAYS!