Warriors believe in strength and beauty...
The Saturday before Mother's Day I was feeling sad. The girls take these holidays very seriously without an adult to help them but I see their worry. It is a lot to be alone. We never discount the moral support of the greatest group of friends and all you Warriors but within our home there remains a void. This void feels less cavernous now and does not gut us with the intensity it once did but on special days it seems to knock on the door with greater strength.
Indy was still at ballet, I was running errands and I thought to myself I should go buy myself a bundle of sunflowers. I thought how this might bring a piece of Warrior into the house the next day although he would not physically be at home. I recalled all the times he bought me sunflowers and how he told me he'd like to plant me a field of them because, he claimed, if I were a flower, I would have to be a sunflower. I argued why I couldn't be a pink rose and he answered that roses had thorns and while I was strong I was not sharp and cutting. This made me melt. He said, "Dana, you are a sunflower to me because your spine is strong and unbending but your face is always full of optimism and sunshine.". I'm not sure that is true but sunflowers became more very favorite flower after that. I wanted to believe in that picture he drew of me.
I talked myself out of buying Mother's Day sunflowers before heading home. I figured it was silly and an era I would have to think of in the past with great affection. I put it out of my mind as Indy and I made our way out of town until I opened my kitchen door and lost my breath. On my counter sat an enormous bowl of sunshine. There perched in a vase was the most stunning arrangement of sunflowers welcoming me into the house with infinitely optimistic faces.
Mattie came running so excited by the delivery, asking who had sent such lovely "daddy flowers"... I opened the card to find it signed by friends I consider family who never even knew the story of the sunflowers and what they would mean to me. Warrior still moves among us. He even remembers me on Mother's Day with the help of angels still slugging it out here on earth.
I believe in the strength of people who go above and beyond to make you feel remembered...I believe in the beauty of blooms, friendships, and sunflowers...