Warriors Must Remember to Play...
My husband was the most intense man I've ever known. This intensity was his greatest propelling force and his mark of ultimate excellence. His intensity was something I was drawn to and appreciated but looking back I wish I'd made him play more.
When we met I was still at Arizona State. I was a good girl but loved to have fun! Going dancing was a favorite night out and my girlfriends and I spent many hours on the dance floor! When Warrior and I started dating he asked what I enjoyed and I told him to take me dancing. He laughed. He laughed a big, deep, throaty laugh and then said a decisive, "No.".
No? I asked... No?
"No. I don't dance.".
I launched into an entire diatribe about... well...I do dance and you will have to take me...and you can just stand there...and I'll dance around you..and...and...and...
he said, "No".
We had many dates, did many things but never would he take me dancing which made me pout. Finally I believed his "no"was firm and stopped asking. One night we were at his home far out in the desert where there were more cactus than people. Our music was blasting, there were steaks on the grill, a blanket of stars covered our heads. We were talking and laughing when out of nowhere my husband said "hey pooch, let's dance..." I thought he was joking but I jumped in and then to my amazement so did he...
My dear, sweet, wonderful husband was good at almost everything...
...but not dancing.
I was actually horrified.
I stopped in place and just stared at what can only be recalled as some sort of spastic jerk. I said to him with a gravity I did not know resided in my young self..."Please, please, never do that again."....and he laughed again so loud the coyotes joined his chorus.
There are things I regret telling my husband. Asking him not to dance is not one of them. Recently I told this story to Paul and Steph and they both had different reactions. Steph's was how sweet it was he had tried, Paul's was the smile that spreads across his face and his own hearty laugh. He shook his head at what a fool I was..he said Warrior had done the biggest work on me...that he probably danced like a pro but didn't like it and didn't want to so he'd made a show for me. That made me laugh myself...it just might be true.
I know I brought a lot of playfulness to Warrior's life. When we met he still traveled which I didn't mind a bit. I think ambition and drive is an entirely attractive quality. I think when you meet somebody you combine down time but it is important to maintain your own interests and autonomy. It is a real impossibility to make another human being responsible for your happiness. Happiness is an inside job, people can add to it but nobody can deliver it on a plate. I do regret not forcing Warrior to play more before he passed. I think he was cramming so much into his life unconsciously he just didn't have time to play. If I could jump back in time I would remedy that.
Since I lost him I have worked incredibly hard every day to build a life for the girls and myself. Somewhere past the black hole of grief I popped my head out and decided I still had it in me to play. I drive my truck a tiny bit fast with the radio blaring singing with the girls. I get out with my girlfriends for tequila therapy where we all cut loose, catch up, and laugh. I've even been known to shred a dance floor or two this summer while the girls were away.
Life is too beautiful to work so hard you never play. Intensity is awesome but so is the company of people who make you laugh. This weekend I was laughing at how different a mom I am now with the responsibilities I inherited losing Warrior. Once upon a time I was every year's room mom, the maker of from scratch cupcakes, and the thrower of dream birthday parties... I've got so many balls in the air now I'll race into Dunkin donuts for advisory snacks and beg an email conference over an in person talk unless there's a problem. I don't do things perfectly anymore...but I do make perfect time to play a little because it is an essential nutrient for a happy life. Don't forget this is vital for you Warriors too! Summer is winding down so take this to heart and set a date to play. I promise, you will not be sorry!
I believe it was my husband's intensity that made Ultimate Warrior legend. I believe it was the playfulness in our home that made him happy. I believe in dancing...seeking laughter...and making time to play...Always!!!
I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU WARRIORS AT SUMMERSLAM!! Please make sure to say hello!!💗
Don't forget Warrior's I'll be hosting a special podcast on September 1st ready to answer all your Warrior questions! All the information will be released soon!