Warriors Know Their Impact....
I've stopped letting people throw shade at me without calling them on it. It's a funny thing people do to true warriors...they test us...they see how far we can be pushed. For me now, it isn't even an inch. I'm tired of always being gracious and the happy hostess. It gets me nowhere and opens the door for even people I've called friends to be underhanded. Who needs it? We have been taught, "turn the other cheek" and "be the bigger person" but what if that means becoming everyone's ottoman? I'm not letting people put their feet on me anymore.
People are kind of brave putting their two cents in on my life, even if not one of them could have survived the past nearly three years the way the girls and I have. Recently, a mother I've known for ages, made a flippant comment upon finding out Indy was living in California pursuing her dream. "I could never let MY little girl go like that..." was her slap. Implied in her declaration was that SHE must love her child more than I did mine. I leveled my eyes at her and steadily said, "You do not know what you would do in my position. You don't know how strong you have to be when you're child is pacing like a panther... watching the chances of their dreams fade away...". Caught, the woman claimed she didn't mean to "offend" me and rather than pretending otherwise, I promised she had. She was thoughtless and rude. Why should I assuage her guilt? It happens to me often because I have impeccable manners and have taught them to my girls others come in for the kill.
Approach carefully now, thoughtless dolts, I'm going to call shade what it is and leave your foot where it belongs...in your mouth.
As Warriors we know our power and we recognize our impact. With power comes responsibility so if you feel moved to speak in a bold manner it should be well considered. I do not go off, half cocked, ever. When shots are fired I make them land with precision.
The holidays are a time we should all enjoy as we roll out the welcome mat to family and friends. Doing so does not, however, require we become a door mat to others too selfish to see our worth. This is the season of giving but do not give so much you have nothing left to give yourself. I've had my final lesson in giving with little in return recently. I didn't throw a hissy fit or make a scene; instead I quietly withdrew future giving in my own mind.
Save something just for you, Warriors! You, yourself, are worth all the hubbaloo!!!!
I am not encouraging combat in this season of peace and love. What I am endorsing is candor and the marking of boundaries. You are given one short shot at life and in a breath it is gone. All those people you do for, make sure they reciprocate the best they possibly can. I have, myself, been hurt by others who bask in the warmth of my generosity but then take it for granted in unexpected ways. Don't permit yourself to go unappreciated. Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm...instead, build a bonfire and make s'mores with the people who have a deep appreciation for YOU! Drink hot cocoa with marshmallows, whipped cream and peppermint schnapps (if you are of age, and so inclined) instead! You deserve to enjoy the desires of your heart! You deserve the warmth of adulation too!!!
I love the holidays with a child's heart but I now see life through an adult's eyes. There is a fine line between self-care and selfishness we must not cross. There is another line where we always put ourselves last and others ahead...that is equally important to balance. If others cross a line on a regular basis I'm asking you to calmly stand up and speak your heart. I'm asking us to take back civility by enforcing the rules of good manners...even if it is slightly uncomfortable in the moment.
I believe written and spoken words are important. I believe manners are taught as cornerstones of life. I do not believe civility requires us to swallow a sh** sandwich just because that's what someone wants to feed us. I believe we stand on our OWN and realize our impact...ALWAYS!!!